They say trauma makes you funnier, so if that's the case I better have you all peeing your pants laughing at the end of every post.
I guess I could always drop the obligatory dead mom joke and then you'd have to give me a pity laugh, where you're not sure if you should actually be laughing or concerned for my mental well being.
My friends and I have created our own version of 'trauma dumping', but instead of talking about our trauma without the other's consent we dump on each other's trauma but one upping each other. For example, my one friend (we'll call her M) started the game at age 11 when her parents got divorced, then my other friend (let's call her T) decided to one up M by having a stroke at 19, but now I'm in the lead because my mom died.
Honestly when the three of us get together and joke about this stuff we do get a variety of strange looks. I'm convinced that people who look at you like you're crazy when making jokes about your trauma haven't gotten the chance to feel the full extent of the pain the Universe can bestow upon us humans.
So how did I become the funniest person I know?
Step number one is having someone close to you die -- that'll usually do the trick.
Step two is accepting that if you're not joking you're crying.
Step three is just rolling with it.
There's no point in feeling miserable all the time after something bad happens. Seriously, the day my mom died I couldn't deal with the pain, so the way I told my friends that my mom had passed away was a text saying "~my mom died~". Granted, no one knew how to respond to that, but making it lighter made me feel better in the moment.
I've tried to keep this positive perspective ever since my mom passed. She would not want me feeling down all the time. There will definitely be days you can't get out of bed because of how heavy your heart feels, and because your brain won't stop reeling. However, those days can be made better once you remember that you've been through worse (aka the moment your trauma actually happened). It's okay to be sad, we need to feel that sadness, but reminding ourselves that we are strong is important. I have been through pain I never thought I could get out of, and now when I feel depressed or anxious I remind myself of my strength. If I did it before, I can do it again.
One day I am sure I will be able to deal with the pain without having to joke about it, but right now if the humor allows me to stay positive on the daily then I will take it. If anyone wants to start a new trauma dumping game with me just leave me a comment, its surprisingly fun laughing with people about how your life unexpectedly blew up!
But on a real note, if you're going through something be better than me, it is okay to get help. Getting help doesn't mean you're weak, and honestly its probably better than solely relying on humor to cope with bad things (now if only I could listen to my own advice).
Peace Out Girl Scout,
Giulia
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